Slave To The Internet

This is a copy of an email from a seller to a buyer in regards to the delivery of their item.

I liked it, so I thought I would share….

Dear *******

Your poker items have been gently taken from our storeroom with white gossamer contamination-free gloves and placed onto a velveteen satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees dressed in white satin inspected your items to make sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our venerable packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your item into the finest bubble lined envelope that money can buy.

After the candle was lit, twenty white doves were released, lead by a grey dove (the grey dove signalizing the marking of a safe transcendence from heaven to earth), which after all, with out this extra insurance, who knows
where that parcel may end up even with the greatest postal service in this world…

And finally, (and it must be said that it was a hard search to find them, but we did) seven Tasmanian virgins blessed the package with rose water to make sure nothing can go wrong on it’s journey.

Festivities began immediately to mark this occasion including the unveiling of a new postage stamp and a revolutionary 21c coin. Finger sandwiches and a rather pleasant ‘86 Bubbly from South Australia was served.

The bells of nearby St. Meredith’s clock tower will peal, on the hour, for 4 days…..and the world shall hear this triumphal news that you our newest customer will soon receive this most splendid item.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to our local post office where the entire city of Sydney waved ‘Bon Voyage!’ to your package, on its way to you, in our own private jet.

(But please be aware that this private jet sometimes has a will of it’s own and has been caught before having a little holiday in an Australia Post Sorting Centre for a few days)

Your picture is now on our wall as ‘Customer of the Year’. We’re all completely exhausted but we also can’t wait for you to come back for another great ebay deal with OzPokerHQ.

Needless to say that positive feedback for being a prompt payer involved in a real and enjoyable online transaction AND for being a helluva nice person has already been left for you. There has even been a message sent to ebay
to vote for you as the “greatest ebayer ever”.

In the improbable event that there is something that is not quite right, please do not hesitate to contact us. We used to enclose a self addressed carrier pigeon for this purpose but it was extremely hard to make the sellotape
stick to the feathers.

Thank you once again and please feel free to visit our store again soon for some fantastic deals.