This is a copy of an email from a seller to a buyer in regards to the delivery of their item.
I liked it, so I thought I would share….
Dear *******
Your poker items have been gently taken from our storeroom with white gossamer contamination-free gloves and placed onto a velveteen satin pillow.
A team of 50 employees dressed in white satin inspected your items to make sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.
Our venerable packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your item into the finest bubble lined envelope that money can buy.
After the candle was lit, twenty white doves were released, lead by a grey dove (the grey dove signalizing the marking of a safe transcendence from heaven to earth), which after all, with out this extra insurance, who knows
where that parcel may end up even with the greatest postal service in this world…And finally, (and it must be said that it was a hard search to find them, but we did) seven Tasmanian virgins blessed the package with rose water to make sure nothing can go wrong on it’s journey.
Festivities began immediately to mark this occasion including the unveiling of a new postage stamp and a revolutionary 21c coin. Finger sandwiches and a rather pleasant ‘86 Bubbly from South Australia was served.
The bells of nearby St. Meredith’s clock tower will peal, on the hour, for 4 days…..and the world shall hear this triumphal news that you our newest customer will soon receive this most splendid item.
We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to our local post office where the entire city of Sydney waved ‘Bon Voyage!’ to your package, on its way to you, in our own private jet.
(But please be aware that this private jet sometimes has a will of it’s own and has been caught before having a little holiday in an Australia Post Sorting Centre for a few days)
Your picture is now on our wall as ‘Customer of the Year’. We’re all completely exhausted but we also can’t wait for you to come back for another great ebay deal with OzPokerHQ.
Needless to say that positive feedback for being a prompt payer involved in a real and enjoyable online transaction AND for being a helluva nice person has already been left for you. There has even been a message sent to ebay
to vote for you as the “greatest ebayer ever”.In the improbable event that there is something that is not quite right, please do not hesitate to contact us. We used to enclose a self addressed carrier pigeon for this purpose but it was extremely hard to make the sellotape
stick to the feathers.Thank you once again and please feel free to visit our store again soon for some fantastic deals.
As a webmaster, I have come across alot of scams over the years. Other webmasters trying to sell me their product that will make money on the internet. I fall for it every single time. Hey look, I can make millions from this and all I need to do is pay the $100+ and sit on my big fat ass. The money will roll in and my ass will just keep getting fatter and fatter.
Once again an opportunity came up to buy another affiliate website called BANS or Build A Niche Store. All the reviews for BANS were excellent (naturally!, why would the owner display bad ones?) and the asking price was $97. OK, $97 is a bit of cash for a no hoper like me. Anyway, I coughed up the dough, set up my first site called Super Mazuma and I havent looked back!
The reviews I read had people earning money from the day the site was uploaded. That didnt happen to me, but within a week I was starting to see small amounts trickle in.
Basically, BANS, uses the eBay Partner Network program to help you cash in. Within a week I had made about $1, nothing exciting but that dollar is now starting to turn into a daily thing rather than a weekly thing. My best day I made over $20! Yep, $20 big ones. I will be honest with you. I have done no promotion for this site whatsoever. I uploaded it and linked to it from a few pages and that was it.
I could probably put in a bit of effort to promote it, but at the moment I dont need to. I have done exactly the same for a few other sites too and both make great money.
If you are a fat, lazy webmaster like me, then get yourself Build A Niche Store. You wont regret it!
